Still a Jackass With a Napoleon Complex : Why Did I Feel The Need to Acquire More Supporting Evidence??

I was not drunk. It was Friday afternoon, around 130. I felt the need to text Honduras to see if he wanted to get a drink Friday night. I KNOW what kind of jerk that I am dealing with. I just wanted to experience our sexual chemistry one more time- sit and talk with him and have his attention. Wow. He doesn't ever even compliment me. Even Venezuela did that- did lots of it. He told me how beautiful I was and how intelligent and motivated. Honduras used to tell me that I should be really proud of my professional accomplishments and sounded genuinely impressed with what I have done. But never any other compliments. He just treats me like a plain sex object and what's worse is that I have allowed it. And again this time. But I guess I needed to have it pounded in my head. And some good ole' fashioned fun. It was fun but not enough to negate the way that he disrespects me. He is a blatant pig and its obvious that he only wants me for sex. I just wanted to have fun again. To laugh and feel our spark. MY MISTAKE. He doesn't even deserve to be in the same room with me. He in no way, shape, or form deserves my company at all. After Friday he didn't talk to me at all last night. And tonight he avoided any conversation and even avoided eye contact. Wow. Classy. He is 31. Once again reminded that age and maturity are just casual acquaintances. I am just glad that I see it now - I mean the full picture. I knew he was an ass for how he treated me before, but I was willing to overlook it for a fun night. But I realize that by spending any time with him at all I am telling him, "go ahead, do what you like- treat me like shit and I will be here when you feel like some late night amusement! Thanks for treating me like some trashy club chica that you meet on your Saturday night gallivants with the other Big M. losers that hang with!!"

THANK GOD that I am intelligent and that I am ME - even though it takes me awhile to get out of the mire- I have wonderful women in my life that are always looking out for me. They love me and know I deserve only the best. I am trying my best to TRULY believe that. Nothing will work until I do.

Thank you YSL Rouge Pur

I have been looking my entire adult life for the red lipstick I am currently wearing. I love it so much; it looks great on me if I do say so myself. Very seductive. It intimidates some people at work. I can tell. Some of the girls look at me with a snootiness and with a certain jealousy. I can't help the fact that I am fire engine red lips and they are clear gloss... don't hate me because I'm glamorous girls! I am never afraid to experiment with color. I love being bold and different. Staying safe, neutral, beige, clear gloss is not for me. Boring boring boring! My entire being screams passion, adventure, and boldness.